


Season's Greetings

by bactaqueen



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Nick Fury is sick of looking at Steve Rogers' naked everything, Steve/OFCs, Steve/Sam - Freeform, Steve/Sharon - Freeform, Tinybot has it out for Steve, all relationships implied - Freeform, crack!fic, sexbots-turned-avengers, steve/bucky - Freeform, steve/natasha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5419295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bactaqueen/pseuds/bactaqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tinybot hands out a holiday card and a small treat. (NSFW edited image in end notes of fic.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Season's Greetings

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction. Recognizable characters belong to their respective owners. No profit is earned and no infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note:** Ever since it came up in brainstorming, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind, so I'm hoping this does the trick.

Tinybot handed the first card-and-candy set to the pretty girl behind the front desk. She and Steve had spent some time in her car down in the garage. 

"Happy holidays," he said. 

"Aw! Thank you!" She beamed at him.

He smiled at her, and as he walked away, he listened to her giggle.

The next four went to the ladies gathered around the coffee maker in the first-floor break room.

"Are those McDick's truffles?" Sophia wanted to know, her eyes big as she reached for the card.

"He made an extra-large batch," Tinybot said, as though he hadn't specifically asked McDick to make them so he could hand them out.

The whole apartment had smelled like chocolate for four days and Ruth had easily eaten at least half her weight in them.

"The recipe is online," he added.

"I've never been able to make them half as good." Sophia fingered the little cellophane bag and sighed happily. "Thank you."

Her thanks was followed by a chorus from the other women. Tinybot mentally cataloged them: supply closet, conference room, gym, loading ramp of a quinjet.

"Happy holidays, ladies," he said.

Claire was in the elevator when Tinybot got on. Infirmary, last bed on the left. Tinybot handed her a card.

"Happy holidays."

She smiled and thanked him. Then the glanced at the card before she tucked it into her big purse, and she laughed. She laughed for two floors and when she looked over at him, her eyes were shining.

"It's fantastic," she said.

Tinybot grinned at her. "Thanks."

She was still laughing quietly when she left the elevator. The flood of pride he felt as the doors slid shut behind her was not unlike the post-coital response he'd originally been programmed with.

There were a lot of cards to hand out in the motorpool. Mechanics, pilots, drivers, both of the quartermasters, and since she was down there delivering supplies requests, the new girl from the mailroom.

Tinybot didn't get it. But it wasn't his place to understand. It was his place to hand out holiday cards and the candy McDick had made, and wish them happy holidays, and hope that once they realized what was on the card they'd see just how ridiculous Captain America really was.

There were more cards to hand out on the administrative levels. Kate in HR got the biggest bag of truffles. Tinybot figured she deserved them, tolerating both Steve and all of Colonel Fury's complaints about Steve.

She looked at the card and smiled, then really seemed to see it and sighed. She looked up at him. "Please do not let Fury see this," she said.

Tinybot nodded sagely.

He had no intention of hiding the card from the colonel. If he was correct, it had been over six weeks since his last date with his wife, and the sum in the Butt Jar wouldn't cover more than takeout and a movie rental. Hill hadn't had an easy time of it at work lately, Tinybot thought she deserved something nicer.

Emily's dance company was putting on a holiday show set to a rock orchestra arrangement, for example. One of the matinees a week before Christmas would make a very nice, low-key date.

Kate gave him a tight smile and thanked him, then turned to her computer. As Tinybot left, he heard her call her assistant and warn her.

He smiled to himself.

Lillian in accounting had a twin sister, Jillian in collections, who didn't have all the body modifications. Tinybot was glad to not have to catalog them together as he gave them their cards.

He put the operations officers' cards in their mail cubbies in the corridor outside the ops center. There was no reason to go in and risk whatever mission they were running. McDick's truffles would let them know who'd left them even if the subject of the card didn't.

Two doctors, three nurses ( _nice mommy complex_ , Tinybot noted to add to his next blog post), and one of the housekeepers in the infirmary got cards. Two more doctors and their research assistants in R&D got cards, and one of the doctors looked distinctly uncomfortable once she realized what she was holding and who else in her lab was holding the same thing.

Tinybot hoped Steve wasn't misleading these women. Bucky or no, he'd knock some sense right into that thick stupid skull of his.

There were only a few cards left in his red gift bag, so Tinybot took the elevator up to the Avengers floor and hoped he'd catch the rest of his intended recipients in the ready room. He checked his internal clock. He had a good chance, he thought.

McDick looked up from his tablet at the bar when Tinybot entered, and he smiled. Tinybot got the email immediately and smiled back.

_How'd it go?_

_Dr. Reynolds wasn't happy about it._

McDick frowned.

Tinybot sent another message.  _Everyone else laughed._ They could talk about Dr. Reynolds once they got home.

That made McDick smile.

Natasha was staring at him as he approached her. "It's weird when the two of you message each other instead of talking," she said.

Tinybot pulled one of the cards out for her. "That was a risk you took when you brought us out of storage."

Her lips twitched as she took the card, and they split into a full smile as she looked down at it. She chuckled. "I can't believe you did it."

"Of course you can. Happy holidays, Natasha."

She looked up at him, smirking, her eyes bright. "And here I didn't get you anything."

"I'll send you the information for Emily's Christmas Eve show. Bring your dates."

She laughed. She spun on her stool and leaned on the bar to catch McDick's attention. As Tinybot moved away, he heard her ask McDick how long it had taken him to make the truffles.

Tinybot passed from the ready room onto the observation deck that overlooked the training room. Bucky and Sharon were leaning on the railing there, watching Sam dip and spin in the air before them, testing the new wings. He pushed between them and offered each a card.

Sharon laughed almost immediately and Bucky side-eyed him.

"Has Steve seen this yet?"

"Not yet." There was only one card left in his bag, but he could wait for Sam to land.

Sharon was still snickering. "I think I saw this little costume at Babeland last week--" she started.

Bucky and Tinybot both turned to look at her.

She grinned. "All I'm saying is, Tinybot, want an actual picture for next year's card?"

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
